


brave face talk so lightly

by dottie_wan_kenobi



Series: practice prompts [19]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Background Relationships, Gen, POV Remus Lupin, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Timeline What Timeline, im trying to figure out my characterization so this might be a lil off, is war fatigue a thing. bc they feel it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottie_wan_kenobi/pseuds/dottie_wan_kenobi
Summary: “I’m sorry,” he mumbles.“For what? For ripping this thing?”“No,” though heisa little sorry—before, he always patched up his clothes by himself. But once she got pregnant, Lily said she wanted to learn how to do it, and has used his laundry as practice ever since. Even knowing she wants to do it, he feels like he’s making her, like he’s being lazy. “I’m—well, I’m not much conversation right now.”“You’re not feeling well. Nothing to be sorry for,” she says at once, conviction strong in her words. But then she sighs again, smaller, and rubs her eye with the back of her fingers. He watches her do it, and meets her eyes head on when she looks down at him. Exhaustion lingers, all too familiar. “Truthfully, Moony, I don’t mind the quiet.”
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter
Series: practice prompts [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626685
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	brave face talk so lightly

**Author's Note:**

> did another practice prompt w @whateverrrrwhatever, this time for the prompt “Mending an item of their clothing that was ripped” + platonic Remus & Lily. first time writing hp characters & not britpicked but hopefully it’s okay!!
> 
> title from Sick Of Losing Soulmates by Dodie

Maybe he should feel bad, he thinks, laying on James and Lily’s bed, staring up at their ceiling. No, he definitely should—there’s much better company both in general and in this house. Even Harry, who can do nothing but lay down and cry and stink up a whole room, would be better than him. At least one can talk to Harry and get some kind of response back, even if it is just blinks and babbling.

So yes, he should feel bad. But it’s hard to feel both guilty and sick after years of being able to have some kind of fun on full moons, his friends’ happiness lighting him up inside and making it seem like—like maybe it’s okay. Okay to shift and okay to be a werewolf and okay to not feel terrible, awful guilt about who and what he is. Like his post-full moon sickness is just something to get past, like a hangover, something to endure and move on from easily.

It’s harder, this time. He isn’t sure if it’s because he spent the hours both before and after the shift worrying, terribly, that he would somehow get to Harry—despite Padfoot being with him the whole time—or if it’s because of, well, everything. 

The world is burning around them. Fabian, Gideon, Marlene and her whole bleeding family—all dead. Any of them could be next. And yet, Lily is here with him, neither of them speaking because he knows if he tries, he will throw up, and what kind of friend would he be, throwing up on James’ pillow.

Lily sighs, the sound oddly muffled by the needle in her mouth. She’s sitting next to him, legs crossed under the same blanket James had draped over him some time ago. His thick coat is laid out over her lap, the torn sleeve held up as she stitches it back together.

“Stop it,” she says, taking the needle out and then poking his side with her knee. “I can hear you thinking from here.”

“Cannot,” he says back immediately, his voice weaker than he’d like it to be.

“Can too. You think very loudly.”

He turns towards her, curling a little into the warmth radiating off her. Her closest hand drops the coat and lands on his side, patting gently a few times before returning to her work.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“For what? For ripping this thing?”

“No,” though he _is_ a little sorry—before, he always patched up his clothes by himself. But once she got pregnant, Lily said she wanted to learn how to do it, and has used his laundry as practice ever since. Even knowing she wants to do it, he feels like he’s making her, like he’s being lazy. “I’m—well, I’m not much conversation right now.”

“You’re not feeling well. Nothing to be sorry for,” she says at once, conviction strong in her words. But then she sighs again, smaller, and rubs her eye with the back of her fingers. He watches her do it, and meets her eyes head on when she looks down at him. Exhaustion lingers, all too familiar. “Truthfully, Moony, I don’t mind the quiet.”

She doesn’t have to say more. Harry’s calmed some from his horrendous first days, but it’s not a baby’s nature to be quiet, nor is it James’ or Sirius’. If Peter were around more, maybe it’d be better, the scales tipped more favorably in the direction of the non-hyper, but as it stands—it’s just them. With how crazy everything has been of late, they rarely get any time alone.

It’s a shame, he thinks. Back at Hogwarts, it was easier to slip away, to sit at the same table in the library and work side-by-side while their other friends were off doing Merlin knows what. But since she and James got married, and had Harry, and the war’s picked up…he can’t think of the last time they just relaxed together.

“Lily,” he says before he can think better of it. He still feels bad for taking up her time, but maybe—maybe he can help her somehow. “Do you want to—perhaps, I mean—lay down with me?”

She mulls it over for a moment, running her thumb over the fabric of his coat. Finally, she nods, and carefully flops his coat onto the floor beside the bed. When she turns back to him, he lifts up the blanket so she can curl back under it, but she says, “Nah, I wanna be big spoon.”

It’s impossible, truly impossible, to deny her anything. He turns gingerly onto his other side. As she gets settled behind him, he fluffs up James’ pillow in a way he knows Prongs will hate but is delightfully comfortable under his head.

She throws her arm around his waist, for a while, they lay there in silence, just resting peacefully. Noises from downstairs drift up, the loud voices of their family mingling with faintly familiar music, slightly overpowered by Lily’s soft breathing. He feels—safe, and happy almost, and like maybe he shouldn’t feel so guilty after all.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](https://dottie-wan-kenobi.tumblr.com), and on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wan_dottie)


End file.
